1. |
Signs And Wonders
04:55
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Signs And Wonders (Glenn Cardier)
Same old Junction Street, same old windows broken
and all the town is tumbledown, same old mess on the ground.
I turn my collar up and I cross against the lights.
I wonder where are you tonight.
Same old laughin’, same old cryin’, just another doorslam.
Same old Punch and Judy show echoin’ down the corridors.
They say a change is gonna come but no-one can tell us when.
I long to hold you in my arms again.
But I’ll be there for you. I’ll be there I promise.
You gonna light my darkness, you gonna see me through
And you will weave your spells and work your miracles.
I see signs and wonders in everything you do.
Shootin’ star across the sky. Love you till the day I die.
You take your chance, you dance the dance.
It’s the same old situation.
Well, I guess it’s fair to say sometimes it’s best we fade away.
Me? I’m goin’ out with all guns blazin’.
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2. |
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Stop Me (If You’ve Heard This One Before) (Glenn Cardier)
So this guy walks into bar… this blonde is driving in her car…
This Australian falls down a well…heh, there’s a thousand jokes
That I could tell.
I step up to the microphone. I stand before you all on my own.
Well now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s hear it for the comedian.
I flash a grin, I give a wink. I’m not as confident as you might think.
I’ve a tendency to slur my words when I’ve had a touch too much to drink.
I come on lookin’ like happiness personified, crackin’ gags, rapid-fire.
If the truth be told I’m terrified.
Oh, and have you heard the one about the guy
Who tries to make ‘em laugh but makes ‘em cry?
Oh, and he will win ‘em over that’s for sure. They’ll call for more.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
There are those who’ll try a mountain climb.
There a those who’ll try a life of crime.
I though I could make the whole world laugh
(Seemed like a good idea at the time).
There are those who’ll go into dentistry and get their thrills from drillin’ teeth.
I know a thing or two about misery. My line of work is comedy.
I face the silence of an empty room. I face the darkness once again.
It’s a shame that they all stayed away and missed my clever, double-entendres.
They shoulda come in from the cold. Tonight I got it goin’ good as gold.
Tonight’s the night that I will tell the funniest story ever told.
Oh, and have you heard the one about the guy
Who tries to make ‘em laugh but makes ‘em cry?
Oh, and he will win ‘em over that’s for sure. They’ll call for more.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
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3. |
Hollywood
04:25
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Hollywood (Glenn Cardier)
Oh y’know how them old movies go, well, there’s no denyin’
The guy gets the girl without even tryin’
And the love scenes are shot in some exotic city like Paris.
I said I couldn’t care less. I was lyin’.
I was shakin’, I was achin’.
Oh, and you never knew I was there for the takin’
And I never let on that my heart was breakin’
Just when I thought I should but I never could
I saw it all light up just like Hollywood.
And them stars of the screen are never seen to stumble over their lines.
They can do take after take till they get it right.
Oh, but you could not tell how I felt but baby the fact is
I felt I was the one who’d done all the actin’.
I was shakin’, I was achin’.
Oh, and you never knew I was there for the takin’
And I never let on that my heart was breakin’
Just when I thought I should but I never could
I saw it all light up just like Hollywood.
Oh, seein’s believin’ or so they say.
You could not tell as I wished you well as you walked away.
Y’know I’d never, y’know that I’d never give nothin’ away
But someday baby, someday, someday.
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4. |
As If By Magic
03:54
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As If By Magic (Glenn Cardier)
Well, it’s not accidental if I stumble when I’m walking,
Lacking in co-ordination. It’s not how it appears.
If I seem somewhat forgetful, if I mumble when I’m talking,
Just like any entertainer, I’ve practised that for years
And sadness disappears, gone as if by magic.
No trouble anymore. Gone as if by magic.
You laugh a little louder at all my misadventures
But that was always my intention, that’s what I had in mind.
You’ll be amazed at my deceptions, I will toy with your emotions
And like any entertainer, I’ve rehearsed it many times
And sadness disappears, gone as if by magic.
No trouble anymore. Gone as if by magic.
Oh, and I come on with a fanfare and I trip and I fall down the stairs
And you double-up with laughter. I can see you all from here.
And sadness disappears, gone as if by magic.
No trouble anymore. Gone as if by magic.
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5. |
Jump Jump
03:16
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Jump Jump (Glenn Cardier)
Gotta jump jump -
Gotta jump jump, sh-shake it -
Gotta jump up -
Dance to the dance record -
Gotta jump jump -
She the high-heel hot ticket -
Sky high skyrocket -
Jackpot trickshot,
Eight-ball, corner pocket.
Uh, she got me all messed up -
Uh, she got me all messed up -
Just the way she move she gotta,
Gotta jump jump -
Gotta jump jump, sh-shake it -
Gotta jump up -
Gotta dance to the dance record -
I’m a-gone, gone -
I’m a cot-case thumbsucker -
Love-struck jawdropper -
Tongue-tied, cock-eyed
Punch-drunk prizefighter.
Uh, she got me all messed up…
She say hey babe, do you like it like that -
Do you like it like that -
Oh well, you look so fine, y’know you look so fine -
You gonna be mine all mine, you gotta jump jump.
Gotta jump jump -
Gotta jump jump, sh-shake it -
Gotta jump up -
Gotta dance to the dance record -
She go wham bam -
She the dead-set bellringer -
A come come humdinger
Goddamn gobsmacker
Bang bang firecracker.
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6. |
Master Of Disguise
04:31
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Master Of Disguise (Cardier)
I will sink into the shadows, I will vanish in thin air.
A stolen kiss, a broken promise, you’d never know that I was there.
I could hold you closer to me and disappear before your eyes.
I have no name, I have no number, I am a master of disguise.
I will dance around the danger, you’ll look for me but I am gone.
I am nothing if not careful, I am whereabouts unknown.
Just when they think they got me cornered, I come up with some alibi.
I will be your perfect stranger, I am a master of disguise.
For every time you thought you knew me,
For every question you would ask,
All you ever will discover is a mask behind a mask.
I will fly across the rooftops, a silhouette against the sky
And you’ll do your best to recognise me,
I am a master of disguise.
You will sense someone has been here, you will search for reasons why.
Well, was it love? Y’know that’s somethin’ that I never could deny.
I am a fugitive from justice impossible to identify.
I am a whisper in the darkness, I am a master of disguise.
For every time you thought you knew me,
For every question you would ask,
All you ever will discover is a mask behind a mask.
I will fly across the rooftops, a silhouette against the sky
And you’ll do your best to recognise me,
I am a master of disguise.
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7. |
Abducted By Aliens
03:39
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Abducted By Aliens (Glenn Cardier)
Get the job done. Do what the boss say.
Well, you do just enough of the usual stuff in the usual way.
They put you in your place, starin’ off into space
With your face in a fixed expression of resignation.
I was gone again. Fightin’ it off again, rightin’ the wrongs again.
Abducted by aliens.
She’s a picture. Double-feature. Says she’s pleased to meet ya.
She’s a creature from another world.
I said, ‘No no baby, not me!’ but she got me.
Shot me down with those eyes that burn.
Guess it was my turn. Guess you never learn.
I was gone again. Fightin’ it off again, rightin’ the wrongs again.
Abducted by aliens.
Baby, I was gone again. You gonna find me here high in the stratosphere.
Abducted by aliens.
You said somethin’. I said ok.
You said you were sure there was never a more beautiful day
And a place like this could not be more sublime.
I’d like to have replied but I was miles away at the time.
I was gone again. Fightin’ it off again, rightin’ the wrongs again.
Abducted by aliens.
Baby, I was gone again. You gonna find me here high in the stratosphere.
Abducted by aliens.
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8. |
Comedy Of Errors
03:56
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Comedy Of Errors
(Glenn Cardier)
So we’re taking the stage, we’re having our say.
We speak in the usual, theatrical way.
We throw some jokes in and the whole house is ringing with laughter.
Well, the acting needs work.
The story’s not bad
Though I’m trying to decide if it’s happy or sad.
When I tell you, ‘I love you!’
Would it be better said louder, or softer?
So here we are,
Playing our parts again,
Breaking our hearts again,
Baring our souls.
So here we are,
Watching this comedy of errors unfold.
In the scene where I say, ‘I’m sorry, my dear!’
Do I stand over there, do I stand over here?
Is it best that I turn my back, is it best that I face you?
Well, you make the stage yours, you take the applause
As a piece of the scenery falls to the floor.
Do I play it for laughs
In my awkward attempts to embrace you?
So here we are,
Playing our parts again…..
We can scream with delight, we can cry on demand,
Dismissing it all with a wave of the hand.
Here’s a lingering kiss -
What else would you expect?
And it’s here where we pause for dramatic effect.
So here we are,
Playing our parts again…..
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9. |
Little Richard 1957
04:39
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Little Richard 1957 (Glenn Cardier)
Little Richard come to town set to whip up a storm.
Gonna dance on the piano with his frilly clothes on.
Little Richard was the one we was waitin’ for.
He had his hair piled high in a pompadour.
Well, he looked up at the sky one starry night.
Set his eyes on that little Russian satellite.
Musta give him the shakes, musta give him the shivers.
He tossed all of his jewellery into the river.
Help me Lord, answer my prayer.
Help me Lord, I know it’s you up there.
Woncha tell me, tell me what it’s gonna be?
Help me Lord, save my soul. Save me from that rock’n’roll.
Y’know I’m down here beggin’ on my bended knees.
Well, everybody said them Russians was comin’.
They put that Sputnik up, they’s always up to somethin’.
I wish we knew then what we know now.
‘Cos they was happy just to get the thing off the ground.
Well, the crowd went crazy, Little Richard came out
But he delivered a sermon instead of leapin’ about.
He delivered a sermon ‘bout what the devil done.
didn’t even dance on the piano once.
Little Richard come to town set to whip up a storm.
You coulda heard a pin drop in the stadium.
Everyone was waitin’ for him to do
His ‘Awop bop aloobop alop bam boom’.
Help me Lord, answer my prayer.
Help me Lord, I know it’s you up there.
Woncha tell me, tell me what it’s gonna be?
Help me Lord, save my soul. Save me from that rock’n’roll.
Y’know I’m down here beggin’ on my bended knees.
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10. |
Burnin' Me Up
04:46
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Burnin' Me Up
(Cardier)
She rock, she roll me, she rock, she roll me
Just like the guy in the barrel goin' over Niagara Falls -
She push, she pull me, she push, she pull me
Like the Tilt-A-Whirl at the carnival, and that's not all, that's not all.
She walk up to me, she walk up to me
Like she gonna try, try, try read my sorry mind -
She talkin' to me, she talkin' to me
Like there was nothin' much up there she could find, my, my, my, my.
She burnin' me up, up, she burnin' me up -
She take me, take me, take me to the top.
My heart is poundin', my heart is poundin'
Like them big old jungle drums in King Kong -
My head is spinnin', my head is spinnin'
Like the Ferris Wheel on the night when it all went wrong, I was gone, gone, gone.
She burnin' me up, up, she burnin' me up -
She take me, take me, take me to the top.
How come you do what you do to me? Lord knows, it's a mystery -
How come you say what you say to me?
I'm gettin' weak in the knees, baby please, baby please, please.
She rock, she roll me, she rock, she roll me
Like the Good Ship Lollipop out on a stormy sea -
I say, hey baby, I say, hey baby
That dance you do is the best damn dance I ever seen, if you know what I mean.
She burnin' me up, up, she burnin' me up -
She take me, take me, take me to the top.
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11. |
Weary Bones
03:17
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Weary Bones
(Cardier)
Johnny is restless kind, looks for things he'll never find -
Johnny don't pay no nevermind to no-one -
Tied the knot but it come undone -
Johnny don't stay in one place for too long.
And Tom's the lost and lonely one -
He tried to fly just for fun -
Everything went well, 'cept for the landing -
It's kinda hard to understand 'em
But boy, you sure miss 'em when they're gone.
Woncha come on in, rest them weary bones -
Come inside, come inside -
Ain't much but you can call it home.
Molly says that she's the Queen, she wears a crown and everything -
She sets the scene, there's rings upon her fingers -
Who are we to disagree -
When you see the way she glides down the stairs.
And there's this guy, his name is Wyatt -
Little on the quiet side, 'cept once he tried to set fire to the building -
These things happen all of a sudden. -
They sneak up on you, catch you unawares.
There's a girl called Linda Lou, she wears sparkles on her shoes -
She's gonna dance away the blues somehow -
She come out around sundown
And all night long she dances up and down the street.
We are wild, we are free, we are driftwood on the sea -
We are looking out for something to belong to -
We do the best that we can do
And a fine mess it all turns out to be.
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12. |
Odd One Out
03:00
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Odd One Out (Glenn Cardier)
Can you spot the odd one out -
The crazy-lookin' so and so -
The one who stands out in the crowd,
The one who always laughs out loud
When no-one else can see the joke?
Can you spot the odd one out?
One shoe on and one shoe off -
The one who doesn't play the game -
The one who's never quite the same -
The one who always does it tough.
Can you spot the odd one out?
The one who's always in the way-
The one who marches out of step -
The one who's just gone off and left
Everything in disarray.
A little out of time, a little out of bounds -
Little things like that make the world go round.
Can you spot the odd one out?
The one who just does not fit in -
You say you don't need none of these eccentricities,
What's needed here is discipline.
A little out of line, a little upside down -
Little things like that make the world go round.
Can you spot the odd one out?
Subjected to your ridicule -
Well, you think you're havin' fun
But when all is said and done
It's an idiotic set of rules.
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Glenn Cardier Sydney, Australia
Post 2000, Glenn Cardier’s re-emergence as a songwriter/performer of real distinction has been nothing short of extraordinary. In typical single-minded fashion, he writes, performs and produces his music. Onstage, there are the trademark flashes of dark humour and thumping rockabilly/blues. But underlying it all are the songs. Happy/sad songs. Sweet/crazy songs. Cardier songs. CDs on the website. ... more
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